We bantered about on mindset and body image, and then things got interesting.
“What do you do for self-care and self-love?” she asked me. Without missing a beat, I answered “Masturbation.” We both burst out laughing, because out came the truth faster than I could contain it!
And really, there was zero reason to contain it in the first place. Since pleasure truly is my favorite nutrient, why wouldn’t sex come into play as part of the conversation? It’s not something many of us discuss–especially on social media. For many of us our sex lives are totally private and we would never start a public dialogue for all the world to see. Especially if pleasure we’ve experienced has been tied to shame, religious beliefs, a history of sexual abuse, or guilt.
I’m not an expert on sex, but I know for many of us (especially women) that sex has zero to do with the physical act and so much more to do with connecting to the other person and feeling safe. It also has to do with how we feel about our bodies.
So let’s explore all the ways you can feel sensual and sexual, because I can’t think of a better way to love yourself and heal your relationship with yourself than that. Start with connecting to yourself. Practice running your hands all over your body. Find your pleasure zones and make it an erotic experience. Let yourself feel every sensation and see how that feels to you. Wear something that makes you feel gorgeous, sexy, and powerful.
Get in the habit of taking long baths with essential oils and candles, showers with your partner, massages that start at the feet and work your way up, long, slow kissing, snuggling together in bed, writing each other poetry, long walks holding hands, and sharing deeply intimate feelings. Stand in front of the mirror naked and tell yourself how crazy beautiful you are each and every day.
Then practice communicating your wants and needs with your partner. Play, explore, feel, and self-love. You don’t have to feel any pressure to orgasm–just focus on how you feel during this time so it can be a loving and erotic experience no matter what. And if you feel comfortable, feel free to share below (or private message me) how you practice self-care and self-love and step into your power.