Coaching
There’s a light at the end of the vaginal tunnel.
I created the Make Menopause Your B*tch™ program because I couldn’t watch another woman like you be dismissed when her body was begging for help.
Whether you’re a stay at home home mom, executive, entrepreneur, or a little bit of everything in between – this 4-month program gives you the real tools to lose the menopot, optimize your hormones and digestion, sleep, ditch the brain fog, and finally feel like you again.
IF YOU’RE HERE, CHANCES ARE YOU’RE STRUGGLING WITH HORMONAL CHANGES.
Every day we see people like you who have gone to the doctor because you know something’s off, but are told your lab tests are all “normal”. So you’re often told it’s all in your head, or “that’s just menopause!” and then prescribed birth control, which can actually worsen your symptoms…WTF!
We help you through all stages of perimenopause and menopause so you can…
- Balance your hormones: Eliminate hot flashes and vaginal dryness, sleep deeply, boost libido
- Heal your gut: resolve gas, bloating, reflux, constipation, diarrhea, SIBO, candida
- Clear up brain fog
- Triple your energy
- Lose body fat
- Sleep deeply
- Balance cortisol
- Balance blood sugar
- Get off anti-inflammatory, diabetes, heartburn and blood pressure medication
- Eliminate migraines
- Eliminate anxiety and depression
- Build muscle and endurance
- Feel confident again
- Build resilience and trust that your body can heal itself given the right tools
- Create a success mindset when it comes to conquering your goals
READY TO FEEL LIKE THE badass womAN YOU ARE?
WE CAN HELP YOU OPTIMIZE YOUR HEALTH. YOU DESERVE IT.
In our practice we listen to you throughout your treatment plan and partner with you during the journey. We offer strategic functional medicine testing (blood, hormone and gut tests) to uncover the root cause of your imbalances so you can resolve your menopausal symptoms and feel confident in your body again! We are deeply invested in your medical care so you get results during your treatment. We will staunchly advocate for you and teach you how to navigate through the medical system (or find the right doctor) and build a team who has your back. We will treat you the way we would want to be treated in a medical practice.
If you feel like you’re going through this alone and shouting into an echo chamber, we’ve got you! We are a community of badass women who would sell the rights to their first-born children to get exquisite menopause care.
We will teach you everything we know through the process so you can unapologetically expect this to be the best time in your life.
It’s time to end that BS narrative that we have to suck it up and suffer. Join us in making menopause our b*tch!
4-MONTH COACHING PROGRAM OVERVIEW
Our sessions will take place over Zoom and you will also have email access to us between sessions. Your four-month coaching package includes:
- A comprehensive review of your past medical history
- Comprehensive blood work recommendations
- A DUTCH Test Complete to determine your hormone production and detox pathways
- A GI Map stool analysis test to look estrogen detox and your microbiome
- Customized macro plans based on your test results, medical history, food preferences, and health goals
- Customized supplements based on your unique needs delivered right to your door
- Comprehensive HRT education and advocacy
- A nationwide directory of hormone-literate providers
- Access to our patient portal chock-full of workout videos, recipes and research
- A partner to keep you focused and accountable to reach your specific goals
SO WHAT’S NEXT?
After a couple of months of Esther’s nutritional guidance and her care and concern for me as a woman, something very profound happened. I discovered that looking after myself physically was having a dramatic impact on me mentally. I can honestly say hand on my heart, that 4 months of working with Esther was more impactful than years of therapy. I no longer feel broken. I feel opened, physically lighter and mentally stronger.
To anyone considering becoming one of Esther’s clients all I can say is, invest in yourself! You deserve it! You are worth it, and you will not regret it!
Siobhan S.
Lisa C.
It wasn’t until I met Esther that I realized that my hormones were the root cause of all of my symptoms. With Esther’s help, we got to the bottom of it, and with some very simple lifestyle changes and supplements, I’m finally sleeping, my skin is clearing up, and my mood swings are basically gone. I’m so grateful to have met Esther and have someone give me the answers I was looking for. I haven’t felt this good since my mid-twenties.”
Jessica T.
Meet Esther
ms, rd, cdn, cns
Hi, I’m Esther Blum and hormones, filthy jokes, and an extra dry martini are my love languages. I help women who have been gaslit love their hormones, understand their bodies and advocate for themselves.
I’m an integrative dietitian, author, mom, and lover of any exercise I can do in 20 minutes or less. I’ve overcome Lyme, mold toxicity, adrenal burnout and Epstein-Barr Virus and have been coaching my clients for over 27 years to help them heal complex medical issues, balance hormones, lose weight, and eliminate the need for medication.
Truth is, I’m a staunch advocate for my clients who’ve received craptastic medical care because their bloodwork and symptoms are “normal” even when they know something is wrong. I spend a lot of my time delving into medical research so my people get the most cutting edge roadmap to healing their bodies and restoring balance. There is nothing within you that cannot be healed when given the right tools to do so!
So if dry January is the tagline for your vagina, you’re in the right place. Warning: working together may cause uncontrollable laughter that can cause you to shed tears down your legs…(it happens to the best of us)!