I always smile when people start off the New Year asking me what my resolutions are. Because years ago I made the decision to release myself altogether from New Year’s resolutions and and completely stopped making them. Or doing any 30-day programs. Or dieting. And cleanses? Fougeddaboudit! I am so. DONE. The thought of going to that space stops me dead in my tracks because it’s not who I am anymore.
But this being the first week in January, I spent this past week talking my clients out of the quick and dirty, sexy but not sustainable, boxes of promises and heartache, 30 day cleanses. And this tells me the struggle is still very real for a lot of you out there.
So I’m here to tell you that breaking away from marketing promises takes time and practice. I had to fail diets and cleanses over and over until I learned how to dodge the dieting rabbit hole altogether. It took me years to understand how to live in the present and shut out those seductive whispers and promises of miracles that never came. I had to destroy and uncreate the thought patterns that had led me to believe I could drop weight overnight without truly understanding the cost of being hungry, tired, and starving my body.
Going even deeper, I had to stop thinking I was flawed or unattractive because I had gained a couple extra pounds.
And I’m just not willing to do that to myself anymore.
Sexy sells. A quick romp in the hay is wayyyy more enticing than everlasting love, right? Maybe for the time being. But the heartache is far more agonizing and will happen again and again until you tap into yourself and step away from the maddening cycle of self-hate and punishment.
Deprivation has a short shelf-life, but guilt and shame can last for years. Especially when you try extreme measures and quickly fail.
(Which doesn’t make you a failure, by the way–it’s the diet that failed YOU, not the other way around.)
For me I can tell you that digging deep and holding space for deeply intimate work to take place was what changed my relationship with food and my body. I stopped looking to outside sources to tell me exactly what to eat and when and asked myself what my body wanted me to eat. And then I’d eat it.
That meant that if I wanted to be veggie-heavy one day and protein-heavy the next, I honored it. I stopped worrying about getting enough protein, too many carbs, or too many calories.
Instead I began eating when my body was hungry and stopped when it was full. I stopped eating processed, low-calorie junk and started stocking my fridge with fresh, real, wholesome, nutrient-rich foods that grounded me in a whole new way. My cravings went away because I was feeding and loving the hell out of myself and my body. I was hungry for nothing.
My mind also got quiet and felt peaceful. No more body shaming, races to the so-called finish line, feelings of unworthiness, or self-loathing.
Dig deep into yourself. Once you understand that being pretty is not the same as being thin and commit to a life of radical self-love and acceptance, you will break free from the shackles of guilt, shame, and unhappiness.
In turn you can unlock your deepest desires, nourish your soul and your heart, and be free.
PSSSSSST> Bragging moment here, but I am mad proud of my clients who are making killer strides with their health and weight. These are folks just like you and me who are sending their autoimmune conditions into remission and cutting their pain meds in half, getting to their lowest weight in a decade, and unleashing a fury of radical self-love, passion, and power! If you’d like to make 2017 the year you close the gap between ending body shame and finally letting go of those extra pounds, give me a shout here.